Updated: Aug 24
Heyyy Readers! Welcome to my Part 2 Post of a "Common-Law Marriage"
Now as much as there are saddening, and questionable behaviors following your immediate divorce, there are also a ton of empowering and enlightening behaviors and routines to help you reinvigorate yourself. - To help restart your life. Re-discover your PASSION for life and help regain your inner-confidence. Sooooo, check out my top 10 list below of empowering, enlightening and just feel good behaviors post a ‘common law divorce'.
9 GOLDEN NUGGETS OF DIVORCE WISDOM
1) SETTLE DOWN... Wait-- what? Ok, so just hear me out!
Settle down and find a living arrangement that will inspire you to eventually discover the "real you". There's a lot of available real estate out there. Especially since thousands of people have relocated their homes due to the pandemic. Weigh the pros and cons of where you are currently still living or where you desire to live. For me-- settling down meant staying in my very wonderful, very charming, apartment in Astoria Queens, and having my very best friend who ALSO just broke up with her ex, (she talks about that and more in HER blog "AURIESAYS" move in and live with me.
2) HGTV YOUR HOME
Decorating and finding a decor style that works for you is extremely therapeutic... Because, well, just think about it. When you decide to live with a partner, both parties tend to settle on furniture or the feng-shui of what your home together should be or say about you. It's only natural in any relationship to make genuine sacrifices for the other. However, now being single once again, (waiting for the applause to die down) I get to purchase and hang up all the goddamn twinkly lights I've ever wanted in my bedroom.. Thank you Pinterest! NEXT!
3) TO EAT OR NOT TO EAT MEAT My common-law ex husband happened to be vegan. For him, being vegan helped him not only healthwise, but he also wanted to contribute and do his part for the environment and well-being of animals…. I tried being vegan for 1 year. My stance behind that choice was the fact that I truly am obsessed and love animals wayyyy more than humans, however unfortunately veganism wasn't really my thing. I did however eat a lot less meat, cooked a lot less meat, and bought a lot less meat at the grocery store so, in that 1 year I am happy to say I, like him, in a very, very miniature way, contributed to the well-being of the planet, for a short time, the well-being of animals and our planet and naturally of course my body. --Now that I am on my own again, I'm sorry to express how much I sadly love meat, but I doooooo, I can eat all the buffalo chicken wings I want and even roast a goddamn chicken dinner with my roomie/bestie wHICH we’ve done, multiple times, and the meal was just absolutely delicious.
4) WW- The New Weight Watchers Find a workout that best suits you, your lifestyle and your daily routine. Perhaps if you are anything like me, you may have avoided working out, or found yourself eating more throughout the day to fill the emptiness that you were trying so hard to ignore in the first place. Now, in your new living space, with your bestie, you get to discover a routine that works for you, AND you then even have an accountability partner who makes you feel strong, worthy, and helps you love your body for what it is and where you are at. Remember, every day you are making positive progress towards being the most badass version of yourself. Soo, stick to your new found routines and you will without a doubt feel free'er and more positive in no time!
5) ADVENTURE DAYS! Make it a point whether by yourself, or with your friends, to plan fun day trips that you've always wanted to do, but perhaps your partner wasn’t super into. For example, go to the beach for a girls day, treat yourself and get mani/pedis, watch the entire series of "Sex and the City" with your bestie, and then walk over bridges and explore New York like they did!
Make reservations at ritzy lounges or restaurants. Visit museums, watch your favorite childhood Disney movies, have epic dance parties, walk around naked or in booty shorts and a sports bra, laugh until you cry OR pee, and honestly most importantly, don't forget to document your adventure days. -- Yes. I AM serious. -- You may feel at times like you are forcing yourself to enjoy these moments and have fun, but when you look back on the pictures you've taken during this period of your life you'll be happy to know you are now W O K E from your unhappy slumber, and are now on the path of re-discovery and regaining your inner-confidence.
6. BUMBLE, BUMBLE, BUMBLE... Hey, did I mention Bumble? Okay so, my swiping fingers and I are reallyyyy obsessed with checking bumble. Almost as much as I check my instagram feed daily (and we all knowwwww that means a lot). There's really something validating in swiping left repeatedly in search for that 1 guy on bumble who is actually a total HUGE hunk. But until you find him, swiping left for all the guys you are NOT attracted to, is actually really fun, really obsessive, and sorta helps you re-discover what you are looking for and NOT LOOKING FOR in a future partner. So download the app if you already don’t have it, and swipe already!
7. DUST OFF YOUR PASSPORT, or CAR. Travel, Travel, Travel. Now that you may be vaccinated, or just feel safe enough to finally leave your house again, therefore interjecting yourself back into the "new world", make a list of places you've been wanting to visit, set aside some money and just do it already! If this past year and a half hasn't shown you how short life can be, I don't know what else will.... Plan trips, visit family and friends in different states, and document, document, doc---u----mentttttt! Okay so I may be slightly obsessed with documenting things, but think of life as one giant before and after photo. Stop taking life for granted, and start exploring and creating new and positive memories, FOR YOURSELFFFFFF. You deserve it! After all, you survived a GLOBAL PANDEMIC! ****RIP to those who sadly did not. Our hearts and thoughts are with you.****
8. DAILY COCKTAIL HOUR-- Yepp. You heard right. DA--A---LY! . Now this is REALLY fun and my favorite on the list. My roomie/bestie and I have been working from home the last couple months of the pandemic, and we created a whole routine around our schedules to break up the monotony of being home. Cocktail hour happens to be a daily highlight.
8:30 am | Wake up early! Now for me this is a hard one, because as a night owl, I love living the Rockstar type of life. Going to sleep around 3 or 4 am, and waking up at 11am. But the more I’ve introduced waking up early into my daily routine, I’ve never felt better and more accomplished.
8:45am | For me and my roomie, this is the time we meet in the Living room, ready for our outdoor Run around the neighborhood and local park.
9:15am | 30 minute home Peloton Full Body Interval Training
9: 45am | Shower followed by a breakfast smoothie
10:00 am | Work Day Begins
6:00pm | COCKTAIL HOUR TIME!!
Now as I’ve previously mentioned, cocktail hour is my ultimate FAVORITE part of the day. Whether you drink or not, cocktail hour is f o r e v e r y o n e. To ensure the very best cocktail hour for yourself or a friend make sure you: Grab your fanciest wine glasses, prepare your favorite drink; wine, wine-spritzer, white claws, non-alcoholic seltzer, mezcal on the rocks with a splash of pineapple juice, grab some veggies such as carrots, celery, peppers, and whip up a super delicious low calorie dip. Now last but not least, and think about this before you answer, what is your guilty pleasure TV show? ‘Sex and the City’? ‘Bachelorette? Girls? Schitt's Creek? Have you thought about it?? Okerrrr, so now cue it up, stream it, grab your phone, open up bumblebee, get your left swiping finger ready and BAM… you’ve got yourself a cocktail hour.
… Okay, so where were we? …
7:00pm | Dinner Time!
8:00pm | Movie time! What’s your current emotional state? Because that will now determine your movie vibe portion for the remainder of your night!
10:30pm | Night Time regime begins. Nighttime Yoga? NIghttime sleeping facial? Whatever works for you!
11:00pm | Bedtime! Make sure you get your beauty rest because we get to do it all again tomorrow!
Having a daily schedule that you stick to is an extremely helpful way to transition from one task/job to the other, and a great way to END your busy day with a BANG. I truly look forward to cocktail hour every single day, and now my brain is completely used to ending my work days at a certain time, and letting the real night begin.
9. Bee True To You! For those who know me, you may already be aware of my children’s entertainment and educational brand, Bee True To You. If you are new to my blog and/or overall brand, Bee True To You is a Pop/Rock Interactive Musical Program for kids that I developed 6 years ago.
The brands mission is to help provide Social and Emotional Learning Skills, messages and tools in order to help children discover and learn how to *bee* their truest selves. Although my business was intended for the audience of children from the age of 2-18, it’s a motto I most definitely hold very high in my beliefs. And yet, for someone like me, who teaches and empowers children on the reg with this message, I have struggled a GREAT deal in my past relationship with being true to myself. Maybe you can relate too. So trust me when I say, being yourself and re-discovering who you are and what makes you tick and passionate in life, is ev-er-y-thing.
You can’t get back out there in life, if you aren’t being true to who you are and what you want.
Do not allow your next partner to make you question your morals, your values, and/or what makes you happiest in life. That my friend is all up to you.
SO READERS-- I now commend you:)
If you have hung out to the end of this two-part blog, thank you for listening to what I had to say about being a “Common Law Divorcee”. Yes, in actuality, there MAY BE a few other prerequisites that would actually make my ex my ACTUAL common-law husband, but to me and my heart, our relationship was as real as any other “marriage”... But don’t get me wrong. I am very thankful for the time we shared together. I learned a lot, I grew a lot, I loved a lot and overall, it helped me figure out to this day what I absolutely need and want in a relationship, and what I will no longer settle for.
I do believe everything happens for a reason, and right now, I believe that reason is to redefine myself with my roomie and my best friends by my side, and vice versa!
THANKS A MILL AND TIL NEXT TIME!<3333